Thursday, April 23 2020 by Matt Horan
10.) If the sermon this morning isn’t that interesting, you can just watch a recording of a previous service when it was.
9.) Two words: Church. Snacks.
8.) Since it’s going to be recorded, if you want you can watch Sunday worship on Tuesday.
7.) You’re quarantined, so everyone you’re watching with is related to you. If somebody around you sings really bad, you can just tell them.
6.) If we don’t include songs you like, you can mute them and crank up your “My Favorite Church Jams” playlist on Spotify.
5.) For some of you, your pew at home reclines.
4.) Everyone you’re watching with is related to you, so if someone is sitting in your usual seat, you don’t have to worry about them being new visitors to the church who just didn’t know better. You can tell them to get out of your seat.
3.) When you don’t give anything in the offering, the lady next to you that you pass the plate to isn’t there to make a judgey face at you when she takes it and puts her check in.
2.) You don’t have to “whisper yell” at your kids for not paying attention in church. You can regular yell at them.
1.) Even if you have a handicapped parking permit you’ve still never gotten a better church parking space your whole life.Print This Post